It has started again. Back in the summer of 1999, I received my call to ordained ministry. The call and its acceptance left me feeling weird. Then in the summer of 2001, I began my first appointment in Granville/Vance county. I remember that for weeks after the appointment, I kept telling myself that the Bishop and the DS had made a mistake and would realize that they had appointed me to a parish to minister. So for weeks, I felt weird. I kept feeling that I was not a pastor, but playing one in "real" life. Then one day, I realized that I no longer felt weird, but had become the pastor to the parish.
Well the weirdness has started again. Now that I'm ordained, I wear a stole in the traditional worship service and for the funeral I've done recently. Wearing the stole after seven years of not wearing one is weird. I have to remember the color of the paraments in the sanctuary. Prior to ordination, I just zipped up the robe and headed to sanctuary. Now, I have to put on the stole before I leave my office. In addition, I don't seem to have the hang of wearing the stole with both sides uniform. Invariably, I get one shorter than the other.
Now the good part of feeling weird--ministry is still important. It is easy to become cynically or jaded by the routine of ministry (whatever that constitutes). My prayer is that I continue to find ministry weird and exciting and challenging every day, week, month and year under appointment. Too many pastors have forgotten their first love and call. Here's to feeling weird!
